RCT

Root cause analysis

Knowledge though a powerful gift becomes completely useless if not applicable on oneself. I have always taken pride in being one of those people who is constantly striving to learn more. To understand what makes human beings tick and with the knowledge that I have used to try to fix other people’s lives. Note the stress on the word fix. I think that I do have the theoretical answers to how to live a life that is lack of stress and bullshit from others while turning the mirror on me I suddenly realize that my own life is far from being perfect. If you rate a perfect life on a scale of 1-100 with 100 being the absolute perfection mine is down at 20 with an 80 point room for improvement. Now you are thinking that my life sucks. Yes to a point it does suck, but I am a glass half full kind of person. This to me means that I have 20 good points and a whole life in front of me to try to gain some more points towards perfection. Please don’t ask me for a definition of perfection because in my book it varies from individual to individual. My definition which is far from being the universal one is that perfection is rated from an objective view of what each individual wants their lives to actually be like.

51 in a few days. Having made many serious wrong choices in certain spheres of my life with very devastating consequences and still continuing to make choices which I know are not in my favor. The next natural and obvious question is WHY. If I know all this, why do I continue with this distractive behavior? For readers who are familiar with LEAN philosophy you will probably come to the same conclusion that I am about to make. I have not made any root cause analysis. I do not stop to actually ask myself which turns I made to get to this current destination.  The one thing that I know I did right was being a good mother to my three lovely children. I have also vowed that before I become senile I will tattoo their names on my fore arm so that I will be able to figure out which one of my children has come to visit when om in that home for the elderly. Clever, don’t you think? I know most you guys agree. I was even thinking about getting some kind of patent for all the bright ideas I come up with why ransacking what is left of my brain. This is idea number two. The first one if you are following is the one where am advocating for a compulsory “root cause analysis” for all those who find themselves in the same predicament as I. Retrace your steps, find out which turn put you on the current path to destruction.

On a positive note though, one of the factors that came up in my analysis is the reason for my being on the heavy side. Please spare me the use of the term FAT, I do not know why such a short word creates so many negative mental associations. Heavy is not a better term in any way, I suppose I should say I am weight challenged or my weight is not proportionally distributed. I have shrunk for some reason. When I get my first passport, thirty years ago I swear I was 1.62 (metres). The recent one taken at the police station as is customary in Sweden. I feel the need to clarify this last sentence because I do not want your wild imagination to get the better of you. I was not at the police station for usual police stuff but to actually apply for a new passport. My height was taken by a police officer who immediately noted the discrepancy between height stated in the passport I was renewing and my actual one. I informed her that I obviously shrunk in the ten years I was in possession of the older passport. She did not seem to believe me but I know I read somewhere in my usual accumulation of knowledge that could be useful in such situations that the older people get the shorter they become. I do not know when I wandered away from the main issue here which is supposed to be weight management. Like I said earlier the results of my analysis showed that I had made wrong choices in this regard as well as many other things in my life. Therefore I have enrolled in a gym near my house. Not the one where all the skinny girls go. But the one with normal people go. Those with real shapes and sizes. To be honest, I enrolled two years ago and I have had perfect excuses for not going to the gym.

My most convincing excuse, is that my health has not allowed me to even think of pursuing the gym. For the past few years I have lived on a diet of 10 different tablets a day and a lot of food as a side effect. It’s actually true, not an excuse. My legs were in so much pain that I could not even squat a little to reach the toilet seat. Funny though, one day a female colleague of mine came to visit and she heard how much I was screaming in the loo. She thought I probably fell in. she rushed to find me in the process of trying to sit on the toilet seat.  She was mortified. She wondered how often I had to do this in a day. Personal statistics at the time showed that I went more than 15 times a day. I am serious. No exaggeration whatsoever. One of the medications I was taking was supposed to help the body get rid of excess fluid caused by another drug. Hence the frequent visits to loo. The pain I felt was excruciating. Then for a while I lost my ability to walk unaided. Very interesting experience, therefore the accumulation of excess weight. You as my reader should make an objective decision on whether this is a flimsy excuse for not wanting to go to the gym.

Talking about exercise, I think I suffer from some kind of mental illness. I will tell you more about this in my blog about that particular topic. Today I continue with my root cause analysis and see which ones of the solution that came out of are applicable and which ones will actually help make the right turn in my journey.

Thank you for your time